Why I’m Not Interested

Yesterday, my mother told me my hairdresser Britney discussed my dating life. Apparently, Britney asked her if I decided to date again. My mother replied, “No.” Then Britney told my mother about two guys at her church I might be interested in. The implications were ridiculous. The last time I saw my hairdresser I explained in lengthy detail why I am not interested in dating currently.

My priority is creating the life I desire which includes the relationship with myself, my spirituality, my relationships, my career, my finances, and my passions. This blog and my commercial real estate program are a major part of the process.

I don’t like society’s peer pressure to date nor the idea of your biological clock is starting to tick for marriage and family. Where does it say you should start thinking about this since 30 is practically around the corner? Where does it say, the deadline is 40 years old?

To put both a limit and an expectation on women to enter a marriage and bear children is cruel. Like if she doesn’t her life is not complete. Like if she doesn’t, she is not complete. She is not whole which is a load of bullshit.

For years, I have watched reality television series and fictional television series that showcase women’s anxieties about whether they will get their dream wedding, a husband and their dream family. I have watched the Real Housewives of Atlanta cast throw verbal jabs at one another for being in their late 30s or mid-40s without a man or a baby. I have watched people enter marriages and start families with individuals who are not the best fit for them. Personally, I know family members who married for the sake of being married and neglected their underage children from previous relationships in the process. They ignored the warning signs.

When I was dating, I ignored many warning signs because I wanted a boyfriend and was afraid of being lonely. I thought having a boyfriend gave me “points”. As if I was more desirable to the world. As if this proves I’m a catch. As if this proves I’m worthy.

Now 25, I realize that was a warped perception. I am enough on my own. I don’t need anyone to prop me up. Intentionality is very important to me. If I do decide to get married and start a family, I prefer to do that 9-10 years from now. I prefer to enjoy my space and myself for a long period of time without the responsibility of a spouse and children. I prefer to manifest this part of my life when I’m financially stable and financially wealthy. I prefer to do this once I’ve been in my own home which I purchased and have resided in happily for several years.

So I don’t need anyone recommending guys from church or setting me up on blind dates.

I’m just not interested.


Author: BellaDour

Writer. Screenwriter. Poet. I write about personal development, self-care and adulting

2 thoughts on “Why I’m Not Interested”

    1. Excellent point! I never thought of it that way. I think we get impatient sometimes when we see friends and relatives getting married and appearing to be happy in their relationships on Instagram. Of course I know some people are genuine. It’s just deciphering if we’re more infatuated with the idea of a relationship/marriage versus the actual responsibilities within it.

      Liked by 1 person

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