The Song That Motivates Me

Last night, I was driving down I-285 West from my commercial real estate course with my SoundCloud playlist on shuffle. After pressing the Forward button on my Honda CR-V sound system, Upgrade by Logic filled my car. Interestingly enough, it reminded me of several phases in my life.

It took me back to January 2016. I was sitting at my desk in my Winston Salem apartment during midnight listening to Logic’s entire The Incredible True Story album. I had written a 9-page poem about family pathologies, how it forms and how it affects current generations.

I listened to Upgrade as a self-affirmation. The song motivated me throughout my Spring semester of graduate school. It highlighted Logic’s rising success monetarily and his new, heightened perspective on his own life.

I’ve upgraded while they’ve waited
Will they love it, will they hate it
Never fade it I evade it
Cause I never really want to complicate it

Logic

For me, it was about my emotional and mental growth. I had experienced depression during Fall semester and was determined to have a better semester. I envisioned myself in my graduation cap and gown, standing on the freshly cut lawn of Farrell Hall smiling from ear to ear with my diploma in hand on a sunny day. Looking back, it was intentional. In May 2016, that’s exactly what happened.

Fast forward to January 2019. I was driving down a hill alongside Chestatee River after installing a client’s business management system for 10 hours. The two-lane road was pitch dark around 8 pm on a Friday night. Since my commute was a 90-minute drive down GA-400 South, I figured I turn my exhaustion into a trip-down-memory lane party so I played The Incredible True Story album.

As I passed Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers, Upgrade played. I briefly thought about the encouragement, motivation and determination I once had listening to the song.

That day, I felt mentally and emotionally exhausted. I felt empty. I knew I wasn’t okay. I had stopped writing and dancing. All I did was work. Though I enjoyed watching both reality and scripted television with my family and consuming my mother’s good cooking, I wasn’t setting aside time for what made me smile internally. I would mindlessly watch YouTube videos, television shows or scroll social media knowing my time could be better well spent. But I didn’t care. I was on a self-destructive path.

I tried to visualize my future. But I couldn’t see much.

I played Logic’s album retrospectively because I was searching for purpose within myself. I was searching for something greater.

On this road to success, I’ve faced my fears
Then hop on that flight
I’ve upgraded
– Logic

Fast forward to October 2019, I hear the same song and I truly feel the growth within myself. I am more content about my present, excited about my future and the endless possibilities and opportunities within my reach. I envision myself within property management applying all my skills: creativity, compassion, tenacity, relentlessness and the entrepreneurial spirit.

Portrait of a confident black businesswoman at work in her

Essentially, I will learn to run my own business. I’m seeking a career where I can make a meaningful impact, enjoy it personally and professionally, and enjoy the monetary/health benefits equivalent to my living standards.

I am confident I will get there. I’m closer to it. I think about the numerous industry professionals, alumni and classmates who have provided excellent career advice.  I’m surrounded by people who want to build wealth. These colleagues I will likely collaborate with on business opportunities and philanthropic initiatives.

What would have happened if I hadn’t learned about this program on Auburn HQ’s website while searching for a writing workshop?

Upgrade always had the same meaning to me.

What song/album motivates you?

 

Author: BellaDour

Writer. Screenwriter. Poet. I write about personal development, self-care and adulting

2 thoughts on “The Song That Motivates Me”

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