Being Present

I graduated from the real estate associate program and received a job offer after five interview rounds with a technology firm! I am really excited to start with this new company and my new role. After nine months of job searching, I’ve found a role that aligns with both my career and personal goals.

The last 10 weeks were a whirlwind of evening classes 2-3 nights per week, networking events, in-person and phone informational interviews, multiple video and in-person interviews.

The following week after my program I told myself, “Request more informational interviews, and conduct extensive preparation for my first day at work.” – Self

However, that did not happen.

Instead, I started my Thanksgiving vacation early. I relaxed at home, made a list of holiday films and series to watch for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I went to Walmart, scoured every food aisle to find Pirouette’s cinnamon sticks and found french vanilla, chocolate fudge and chocolate hazelnut flavors much to my chagrin.

I scoured every display in front of the food aisles for large, clear plastic containers of UTZ cheese puffs. I looked for ready-to-eat gingerbread cookie boxes that contained several single packs.  I stood in Walmart’s cereal aisle for 10 minutes looking at the ridiculous, non-nutritious cereal variations available like Hostess donut cereal, Nilla wafers cereal, and Pop Tarts cereal.

I called multiple entertainment venues and asked for their hours of operation on Thanksgiving day, spent two hours searching film showtimes at nearby movie theaters, and reviewed stipulations on unused gift cards to determine what fun activities my sister and I could do for Thursday.  I also watched a marathon of Real Housewives of Atlanta without checking my email account every 10 minutes.

But part of me felt guilty as if I were slacking.

“There’s much more that needs to be done. I have to achieve my short-term and long-term goals according to the life plan I created for myself.”  – Self

I realized I was being too self-critical. My guilt stemmed from being accustomed to my rigorous routine and being on Hustle mode during the past few months.

It was okay to be on Vacation mode.  It was relaxing to just be and celebrate my hard work.

I deserved it.

I deserved to binge-watch You guilt-free. I deserved to conduct the few phone informational interviews I had scheduled in my pajamas without makeup. I deserved to enjoy my Impossible burger, my basket of skinny french fries and discuss TV shows for two hours with my sister at Burger Fi. I deserved to walk Whole Foods to determine which box of chocolate chip cookies were worthwhile.

I deserved to slow down.

We all do. Be patient with yourself. It’s too easy to burnout after chasing the next goal. Take time for yourself to be present.

Inner peace is everything.

Happy Holidays!

How do you practice being present?

Author: BellaDour

Writer. Screenwriter. Poet. I write about personal development, self-care and adulting View all posts by BellaDour