Trigger Warning: This post is about my thoughts as a Black woman witnessing the protests against racial injustice in America.
I have not been completely focused in the past two weeks. My feelings have varied. Fear. Paranoia. Anxiety. Stress. Anger. Disappointment. Rage. Resentment. Unapologetic. Enlightened. Aware. Inspired. Hopeful. Optimistic.
I am frustrated that some people and organizations on social media have excluded Breonna Taylor from the conversation.
I started this blog nearly a year ago. It has been an incredible journey engaging with you in this amazing, supportive community. I’ve learned so much from you all such as transparency, forgiveness, self love, and overcoming doubt.
I am excited to share that I launched my own YouTube channel. It’s something that has been on my heart since 2012. I am very passionate about my love for television, my love and disdain for characters and what keeps me invested in long-running series like Grey’s Anatomy.
I am very excited to discuss topics I’m passionate about and share lessons I’ve learned on both platforms. Most importantly, I get to connect with you on a more personal level.
Thank you for continuing this journey with me. I am forever grateful.
If there are topics you want to discuss, comment below. You can subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Twitter @belladour.
There’s nothing like pure nostalgia. It reminds you of the good ole days when you had little to no responsibilities. You felt like you had all the time in the world.
Life was easier when there wasn’t a goddamn pandemic.
Last Saturday afternoon, I pulled out my exercise step, threw on a long t-shirt and a pair of old shorts from 2008, and listened to my favorite throwbacks while doing some much-needed step aerobics.
I couldn’t help but smile. I wasn’t thinking about my anxiety nor my frustration with a family member. I was enjoying a 60-minute party.
If you’re experiencing feelings of loneliness and anxiety during quarantine, I highly recommend listening to your favorite throwback songs. It can motivate you in more ways than one.
For more resources on the positive influences nostalgia can bring to your self care routine, check out this Shine article.
Need some throwback motivation?
Check out my Saturday Playlist!
What’s your favorite throwback song? What are you listening to in quarantine? Comment below or tweet me your favorite throwback song @belladour on Twitter.
Yesterday, my mother told me about her meeting with an old friend. “She lost weight in her butt like you did. But she’s happy.”
It was a simple remark. But it led to a thought spiral.
Let’s rewind.
Three weeks ago, my mother approached me. “Your father and I noticed you lost weight,” she said softly.
Initially, I didn’t believe her. But yesterday I noticed several pairs of pajama bottoms hung off my hips. I lost weight and knew why. During my previous job, I ate Cheerios and instant oatmeal to power through 10-14 hour workdays. Also I ate them as breakfast, snack and dinner. I had experienced weight loss before.
In 2016, I lost weight from eating cereal excessively throughout graduate school. But this time it was different. I turned to the side and scrutinized my body in my bathroom mirror. Did I lose weight in my butt? Do I have less butt? Do I have less curves?
Have you ever experienced a worry spiral?
It can last a few minutes or a few hours.
For me, it was several days.
Last Friday, I woke up with an itchy nose and couldn’t stop sneezing. By Saturday afternoon, I was experiencing throat sensitivity, chills and fatigue. Although my symptoms felt like the onset of a cold, I panicked.
I thought about people who had few symptoms that were now fighting for their lives or had passed due to coronavirus. I thought about hospitals’ morgues overflowing.
Cue the spiral.
What if I have it? Do I need to get tested? I don’t want to die. I can’t leave my family. They can’t afford a funeral. I can’t abandon my sister. I’m not finished with life I’m just getting started.
These dark thoughts led to paranoia. I was afraid to fall asleep.
I don’t have the coronavirus. I just need more rest and suffer from pollen allergies.
When I discussed it with my therapist, she recommended I recite what’s happening around me to be present. For example, “It’s 11:40 pm EST April 23, 2020. I’m laying in my bed with the lights out. I should be sleep but am typing this post. I can breathe. I am resting my head on my pillow. It’s relatively quiet. I hear my father snoring in the next room.”
Being present can break worry spirals. For specific strategies, check out this Shine article.
How do you manage your worry spirals?
We’ve been inundated with free course/webinar offerings, how to level up your career during a pandemic, how to start a successful side hustle, how to build a brand, etc.
Although there are many options to choose from, the influx of content has become overwhelming.
Where can you start if you don’t know?
Consider a few things.
1. What skill(s) do you need to improve on?
2. How can you leverage it within your personal and/or professional life?
3. What skill or subject matter are you most curious about? Why?
Self-reflection can help you set your intention and determine what works best for you.
Here are some free course offerings:
Coursera has made 80+ previously paid courses free for a limited period of time. You can explore subject matters like public health and social psychology.
General Assembly is now offering free Friday workshops from April to June. These workshops range from career development to entrepreneurship to personal development.
What skill or subject matter are you exploring?Â
If you’re a procrastinator like me, there’s no time like the present to complete the tasks you’ve been pushing off.
We have ample time so no more excuses!
Here’s my to-do list and potential ideas to consider.
Revise my resume. Making a career transition into a different occupation and a different industry is an exciting challenge. It takes time to craft an exceptional resume you feel confident enough to send through 10-20 job application portals weekly.
Update your resume with your recent work experience and highlight your accomplishments. Check out The Muse for resume tips.
Learn how to style my natural hair. As an impatient perfectionist, I’ve viewed hair maintenance as an arduous task my entire life. Now I’m forcing myself to learn how to both two-strand twist and cornrow. I told myself I would spend 15-30 minutes per day practicing twist techniques after watching tutorials. If you have any tips for beginners, comment below.
Finish reading one of several books I purchased. One of the meetups I joined is reading Michelle Obama’s Becoming. They’re hosting a book discussion April 30th which forces me to finish the last half in 15 days.
Open that book you’ve been meaning to read. Reread your favorite book you haven’t read in awhile.
Clean my entire apartment. I am a semi-hoarder. There are several college textbooks and folders sitting in a large, black bin under my windowsill. I thought I’d use them in the future but never did.
Decluttering your home creates more space.
Start with one task. Whether it’s throwing away papers, worn accessories or unused items.
Choose what screenwriting project to finish first. There are several unfinished stories sitting under my desk dating back to 2013. My goal is to finish one this year.
If you have unfinished projects, revisit them. Look at where you left off and go from there. Start over if you want.
What have you been putting off?
Last night, Raven Symone and Kiely Williams had a 22-minute conversation on Instagram Live regarding their relationship dynamic during The Cheetah Girls. Ultimately, Raven forgave her for their past issues and Kiely issued a half-apology.
It was obvious Kiely was the guilty party, the jealous one and refused to take full accountability for her actions that made Raven feel ostracized nearly 20 years ago.
The conversation made me think about jealousy and resentment in friendships.
How can we hold ourselves accountable if we’re the jealous party?
Nobody wants to admit they’re jealous of someone. Let alone a friend.
jealous
: hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage: ENVIOUS
(according to Merriam Webster dictionary)
We’re all processing the coronavirus. Everyday, news stations are reporting on both the rising number of COVID-19 cases and the death toll. We’ve all had plans delayed amid the pandemic. However, we can still be productive.
Think about hobbies or passions you want to spend more time on. Think about the things you’ve been pushing back for days, weeks or months. In a world where it seems like there’s not enough time to accomplish everything we want, it now feels like we have nothing but time.
Here are some ways I am using my time and some ways you can use yours.
Create a Vision Board
As a creative dreamer, I always fantasize about different stories I want to tell via blogs, films and television series. Since I wrote down my desires, I found pictures that mirrored my short-term and long-term goals including travel, screenwriting and my cultural influences.
If you are still figuring out what you want for yourself, write down what comes to mind. Find pictures in magazines or search Google Images. You can purchase a poster board at your local Walmart or Target store. You can also purchase it for $1 at Dollar Tree. If you have an empty box laying around, cut a piece off and use it.
Good Morning!
Some of you may be wondering how to keep yourself occupied during the quarantine. When I realized my entire family would be together 24/7 for the next several weeks, I felt trapped and anxious.
How can I keep myself sane?
I thought about my childhood. There was something adventurous, carefree, and wholesome about 90s/early 2000s series and films. It was an era of feel-good content.
Here are some ways to combat feelings of anxiety, fear and entrapment during the pandemic.
During first grade, there was a blizzard in Brentwood, Long Island. Due to harsh weather conditions, schools were closed so I stayed home.
I remember sitting in my basement drinking marshmallow-filled hot chocolate and eating vanilla Stella D’oro Marguerite cookies. Sometimes, I would dip my cookie into the hot chocolate. I sat comfortably in my pink cotton nightgown, pajama bottoms, white robe, and pink fuzzy slippers watching one of my favorite television shows, Dragon Tales. I was relaxed and at peace.
Cartoons: Hey Arnold, Rugrats, The Powerpuff Girls, Ben 10, Foster’s Home of Imaginary Friends, Regular Show, and Dragon Ball Z are available on Hulu.
2. Board Games
Board games are the perfect combination of competition, challenge, fun, and spending quality time with your loved ones. If you still have them, whip out that old board game and dust it off.
3. Favorite Childhood Films
I enjoyed classics like Prince of Egypt, Anastasia, and Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella.
More Films: Prince of Egypt is available on Hulu. Most Disney films are available on Disney+ under a 7-day free trial. Otherwise, check Netflix and Hulu.
4. More Content to Consider
Childhood series: Maggie & the Ferocious Beast, Little Bear, Oswald, Cousin Skeeter, and As Told by Ginger.
Card games: 21, War, Spit, Spades, Pitty-pat, and Goldfish.
Puzzles: If you don’t have one, buy one. It will force you to use your critical thinking skills to complete the puzzle.
Whatever your favorite childhood hobbies were, revisit them.
What are you doing to keep yourself occupied?
Belle in Progress 